You know you’re pregnant when…
- Your button flies off your spring jacket (Subway commercial style). And bending over to pick it up almost doesn’t even seem worth the effort.
- You realize after going to the bathroom for the 10th time in 4 hours at work that you haven’t zipped your fly in 3 months – because maternity pants don’t HAVE flys (or have fake ones)!
- Your biggest concern every morning is having enough food stashed in your desk or work fridge to last you through the day.
- You find yourself coming out of a gas station at lunch with a roll of Tums, Hot Tamales, and a Pepsi Freeze, and think, one of these has GOT to either wake me up or soothe my heartburn, and I’m willing to take my chances!
- You cry watching almost every show on TV, including but not limited to: The Office (come on, Michael is leaving!), Bethanny Getting Married, Pregnant in Heels, the local news, and several commercials I won’t mention to save my dignity.
- You start surveying your friends with kids – do YOU practice the 5 S’s? (Swaddling, side/stomach positioning in parents' arms, shushing, swinging, and sucking)
- EVERY time you hang out with anyone with kids it turns into a Morse Interview session and only ends when we’ve crossed the line into TMI-land, or when you are sufficiently terrified of what is to come.
- You realize your 3-story office has not one elevator, but TWO! And that you are now the #1 customer.
- You have to do laundry religiously every week so that you can wear one of your five pairs of maternity pants. (Because they are NOT fun to shop for!)
- You are DYING for warmer weather so you can expand your wardrobe options to waist-free dresses and capris!

