Labor Day, labor thoughts!

Well, with this Labor Day I am consumed with deep thoughts about the arrival of our second daughter.  I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of anticipation, knowing in two weeks, I will be holding this little firecracker in my arms.  I say firecracker because I know she already is.  She is already communicating with her sister from the inside, delivering wildly dramatic kicks and jabs to her mother.  She already has that fire in her to be a little sister, demanding to be noticed but strong enough to keep up with her older sis.  I am emotional today, as Eric and I have an extra day at home to enjoy our Elaine, to give double kisses, to play ring around the rosey (6 times in a row) in the kitchen, and to watch Sesame Street with just her in the middle.  The structure of our family is never going to be the same again.  This idea both overjoys me but has tears streaming down my face. 

I am nervous.  I am intimidated to do the newborn thing again.  I'm anxious to know how Elaine will react to having to share her throne.  I'm sad to know I won't get to witness her every first because I'm watching the other one have one of HER firsts.  I'm scared she'll be lost without us while I'm in the hospital and I'm very nervous about my recovery in such an active time of Elaine's life.  I'm scared Eric and I will never sleep again, for once they are out of diapers, they'll certainly be doing sleepovers and talking to boys on the phone.   They'll live out of each other's closets, they'll fight dirty but love fiercely.  They'll tattle  on each other but keep the biggest secrets of the others lives.  They'll always have a friend on family vacations to walk the beach with and roll their eyes with as their parents belt out tunes from the front seat. 

I know the fears I have will soon be replaced by an overwhelming sense of family, of the same sense of love I had watching Eric hold our firstborn.  Watching someone assume a new role, be it father, mother, sister, grandmother, is such a beautiful thing.  Already Elaine plays mommy, putting all her stuffed animals under blankets telling them it's nap time.  I can only imagine the things she will mimic when the new baby is here and she has a front row seat to it all.

I know I should be so proud of her (and us) for how far we've come in the last year.  Getting her adjusted to a big girl bed, helping her with potty training, watching her take tumbles, scrape knees, seeing her dive effortlessly into a new room at daycare with a whole new curriculum and teachers and kids.  And watching things like her hair grow, her feet, her tiny little hands.  Listening to her personality, watching her squeal with delight and also sometimes in fear.  Watching her command a situation or just relax knowing she's loved.  I am so thankful for 9 months to be able to come to this day of clarity, of mixed emotions, of excitement.  And I know we will all happily make room for one more on our couch, one more in our ring around the rosey, and someday we'll get to be triple kissed.

Until then...   2 more weeks of looking at tiny sonogram pictures dreaming of our firecracker-to-be!